So, according to the Left, businesses like Chase Bank are the world's biggest assholes because: If you walk into their building and ask them to buy you a house, they'll only do it so long as you promise to pay them back… Then, if you don't honor that contract, they'll take back that house that they paid for in the first place?… What evil sons of bitches.
Clearly, there's only one thing to be done... Round up your friends, borrow a car, Google where those rich assholes are headquartered, and mindlessly chant platitudes at them for weeks on end... That'll show those millionaires who's fucking boss… Unless of course they truly are as evil as you fear, then they'll probably just become uncontrollably aroused by your plight and spend all day staring down at you from their corner offices while masturbating furiously.
But hey, look on the bright side, at least those evil bankers can't steal your house unless they first helped you pay for it. It's not like they can roll up on a city block, declare it theirs, and tell its inhabitants to hit the bricks... No, there's only one organization greedy and evil enough to pull that shit…
So let's compare evil banks to benevolent government:
Deceptive Contracts: Banks: Will only do business with you if sign a contract, which can sometimes be hard to fully understand. Government: Insists you signed some magical social contract before you were even born, giving them total power over your life and property. No one can refuse it, there are no appeals, and you're never allowed to actually see a copy or read what you supposedly agreed to.
Foreclosures: Banks: If you fail to live up to your end of a contract, a bank can take possession of the house it had originally paid for. Government: can at any time, purely to make more money, take your property and give it to a business that they think will pay them more in taxes.
Transaction Fees: Banks: Charge a $2 fee for using another banks ATM (Some banks now charge a $5 monthly fee to debit card users.) Government: Charges you around a 7% fee on every purchase, and around a 20% fee on your income, as well as hundreds of hidden fees you don't even realize you're paying.
Interest: Banks: Will pay you extra if you have large amounts of money on deposit. Government: prints money, which inflates the currency and devalues whatever money you have, and if they ever catch you with a large amount of cash, they'll simply assume you're a drug dealer and seize it through asset forfeiture.
We've said it a thousand times: All legit crimes (such as arson and non-consensual fisting) have been illegal for years, so why the fuck is the government still passing laws?...
Well, like everything else in life, it's about the money. New laws begin with someone realizing a way to use the government to get rich (or richer). They hire people to write the law, and then lobby the necessary politicians. The lobbyists (a.k.a. bullshit artists) spin the proposed scam until it looks like a public service, and after buying majority support through campaign contributions (or outright bribes), that bill becomes a law. The originator of the scam rakes in the cash while those who aren't politically connected get fucked. Politicians intentionally crush the "little guys" (like independent owner/operators of taxi cabs in Washington D.C.) to benefit their contributors. Laws are get rich quick schemes, it's just that simple:
Here's a simple question for all you liberals who favor redistribution of wealth: Is it worse not to help people, or to intentionally hurt them? If it's worse to hurt people, how can you justifylaws that hurt those who refuse to help others? If it's worse not to help, how can you justify hurting a person who was only hurting someone in order to help someone else?... While you're thinking about that, think about this: Why not simply cut out the middleman by legalizing the mugging of anyone richer than you? (It would save time and shitloads of paperwork.) But those are abstract ideas, let's try thinking it through logically:
The Federal Government’s so mind-bogglingly complex that not a single human being on this Earth fully understands how the fuck it works. It would be a Goddamn miracle to find anyone who even understands what's going on in their own agency. Fuck, the Pentagon’s so massive they don’t even bother trying to audit it any more, they gave up. That's the thing about complex systems; each person only knows their little piece of the puzzle. But for some reason, bureaucrats (who can’t even grasp what’s going on in their own building) think they can manage the economy without fucking it up... Goddamnit, when you realize how complicated something as seemingly simple as a pencil actually is, the idea of "central planning" becomes laughable (Nobel Prize winning economist Milton Friedman breaks it down):
("Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.")
This weekend’s release of Atlas Shrugged made it clear that a shit load people have no fucking idea just how bad ass Ayn Rand actually was. They've never really had a chance to see her in action. Fortunately, she laid out her philosophy during a few TV appearances back in the day, including an interview with Mike Wallace in 1959:
Never confuse the reasons why there should be a government with the reasons why there is a government. Everyone (with the possible exception of anarcho-capitalists) can explain why a government should exist, but few people spend their time exploring the cold blooded reality of American bare knuckle politics.
Now as far as Absolute Despotism is concerned, when it comes to choosing between the "Republican Party" and "Libertarian Party," it's simple: Both. All that matters is advancing individual liberty. Fuck parties. Listen, we don't like it anymore than you do, but the world is governed by party politics, coalitions of power, contributors, fundraisers, candidates, endorsements, precinct captains, and getting out the vote. It's time libertarians grabbed their bayonets and dove into the political trenches headfirst. But remember your Nietzsche: "He who battles monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.”
The problem is, we’re an intellectual army full of nothing but 4 star generals quoting Hayek and Mises, going up against endless hordes of peasants with sticks chanting "change" and "Yes we can". Whenever a libertarian comes up with a plan, they're on their own, because other libertarian's aren’t down with the whole "following orders" thing. So instead of forming hierarchical groups, how about we trust the individual and form "Counsels of Generals" where each individual is simply commissioned to: "Raise an intellectual force, pick targets of opportunity, and engage the enemy wherever you find them... happy hunting." No ruffled feathers and everyone keeps full creative control over their own projects.
At a certain point, every libertarian's got to answer this question: Are you here to fuck or are you here to jerk off? If you're here to jerk off, that's cool. In your mind every girl can be a 10, and it's a hell of a lot easier than going out to the bars and mixing it up in the real world. But if you're here to fuck, you've got to get out there and make some moves. You've got to engage the real world with all its imperfections. Not every girl's going to be a 10. Not every candidate’s perfect, and you won't score a touchdown on every play. (Now ladies... that metaphor was for the guys, so in your heads just replace "jerk off" with "auditioning the finger puppets" and it should make about as much sense... Also it help's if you're into hot girl-on-girl action.)
