Funny how those greedy, profit-seeking corporations have developed a non-violent system of tags and alarms to combat potential shoplifters, yet the altruistic government has no time for such finesses... Everybody gets the crackhead takedown:
So according to police, this video of a grandfather (who was somehow arrested for shoplifting even though he never made any attempt to take merchandise out of the store) lying unconscious and bleeding profusely in the middle of a Walmart, while a circle of witnesses complain it was police brutality, doesn't in any way indicate that officers acted inappropriately:
At this point there's no video of the police actually executing their (totally by-the-book and official) "Slam A Civilian's Face Into the Concrete As Hard As Possible" maneuver, but scientists agree it probably looked something like this:
Before this video surfaced, DC Police claimed that this disabled man "refused to comply” to a police citation and resisted arrest, which “resulted in him falling out of his wheelchair.” After the investigation, officers were cleared of any wrongdoing. Apparently, "acting appropriately" includes falsifying police reports and hospitalizing petty criminals.
These cops are heroes... it's about time someone taught those damn cripples a lesson, with their fancy private parking spaces and custom building entrances, who do they think they are?
Not bad... but not enough. If only we could beat the shit out of someone at the exact moment they became handicapped. Yeah, that'll show'em. The next time someone falls off a bridge, the first cops on the scene should taser the fuck out of the bastard 20 or so times:
Goddamnit, when the fuck did that shit become acceptable in America? This isn't about whether cops are good or bad. It's not that simple. Most people think: "Of course there are a few bad cops, there are a few bad apples in any bunch." but that's not the problem. The problem is cops lack finesse, and while that might be great for dealing with knife wielding crackheads, it leaves them totally unequipped to deal with normal people. So when the time comes to arrest an unarmed 70 year old grandmother, she gets the "Crackhead Takedown" just like everyone else. Now this might sound controversial, but it's never fucking okay for a grown man to taser an unarmed old lady, no matter how much she's been mouthing off.
This might be hard to believe, but cops (like everyone) aren't very eager to admit their mistakes. So when it comes to something like a police report, remember it was written by a human being after the fact, and that human being is probably not going to file a report that admits wrongdoing and fucks up their career. Don't look to a police report for objective truth:
So what does the Government do when faced with the problem of citizens video taping their ridiculous behavior? Do they reduce their excessive use of force?... Fuck no. They pass a law allowing them to "Crackhead Take-down" anyone with a camera. (Here's a helpful tip for cops that should save everyone a lot of time: If you twist someone's arm behind their back and dig your knee into their spine, yelling "stop resisting!" isn't going to make them relax their muscles any faster. They're not resisting, they're writhing in pain. Try yelling "Stop writhing!" next time. That'll do the trick.)
Every law involves the use of force. From now on, instead of saying "That should be illegal" say "Anyone who does that should have 3 grown men slam their face into the sidewalk, be shocked with electricity, be chained up, and be thrown in a cage where they'll probably be raped." Think about the laws with that frame of reference and you'll be amazed how quickly you become a Libertarian.
