Funny how those greedy, profit-seeking corporations have developed a non-violent system of tags and alarms to combat potential shoplifters, yet the altruistic government has no time for such finesses... Everybody gets the crackhead takedown:

So according to police, this video of a grandfather (who was somehow arrested for shoplifting even though he never made any attempt to take merchandise out of the store) lying unconscious and bleeding profusely in the middle of a Walmart, while a circle of witnesses complain it was police brutality, doesn't in any way indicate that officers acted inappropriately:

At this point there's no video of the police actually executing their (totally by-the-book and official) "Slam A Civilian's Face Into the Concrete As Hard As Possible" maneuver, but scientists agree it probably looked something like this:

Before this video surfaced, DC Police claimed that this disabled man "refused to comply” to a police citation and resisted arrest, which “resulted in him falling out of his wheelchair.” After the investigation, officers were cleared of any wrongdoing. Apparently, "acting appropriately" includes falsifying police reports and hospitalizing petty criminals.

Here's a question for the parents out there: For you, what's the worst event imaginable, your ultimate nightmare?... Probably something close to: A group of men methodically beating your child to death, as he screams out for you to come save him... but you're not there.

Kelly Thomas was in his late 20’s when he first developed the symptoms of schizophrenia. As is common among schizophrenics, he struggled in the following years, going on and off of medication, as well as on and off the streets. By 37, Thomas was homeless, living in Fullerton, California. He had long hair, was probably malnourished (only weighing around 140 pounds) and was described by locals as “gentile” and “child-like”.

On the day after Independence Day, 2011, Fullerton Police approached Thomas while investigating a report that someone was breaking into cars. When the police tried to search his backpack, he attempted to run, but officers chased him down and tackled him in the street.

Once on the ground, cops proceeded to ruthlessly taze him, beat him with flashlights and tazers, and deliver repeated knee-drops to his head and throat… all while the mentally-ill Kelly Thomas lay helpless in the street, screaming in pain.

Before police finally beat him into a comma (from which he never recovered) a bystander’s cell phone video captured Thomas’s last words: “Dad! Dad! Dad!” he cried out for his father to come save his life. Unfortunately, his father wasn’t on the scene. The police, apparently unmoved by Thomas’s pleas, continued beating him until he was limp and brain dead:

Minutes after the beating ended, a few eye-witnesses boarded a nearby bus and discussed what they’d just seen. Their conversation was captured on the bus's cameras:

This is what 6 armed and trained police officers did to one unarmed, malnourished, 140 pound mentally-ill man:

Right now you're probably thinking "Jesus fucking Christ... those cops are definitely in jail...right?" No, of course they’re not in jail... Have you met the government? The City’s spent the last month trying to cover this whole thing up (apparently, killing homeless people was never such a big deal). There are complaints that the District Attorney's Office is dragging its feet... they took 3 weeks to start interviewing witnesses.

The beating reportedly took place under one of the city's light post security cameras, and after the incident, the officers involved sat down together and watched the tape (which has not been released) while they wrote their police reports to make sure they got their stories straight.  Even though the Police Department had video (from day one) of exactly what happened that night, in the days following the beating only one officer was suspended. The other five officers involved weren't even put on leave until those 3rd-party videos began surfacing and media outrage forced the issue, almost a month after Thomas's death.

Luckily, the Feds are taking over the investigation... So, hopefully these cops will be tried for murder, and spend the rest of their lives in Federal “pound me in the ass” prison… but at this point, no guarantees.

Thomas's murder is a perfect example of why "bad cops" are so much worse than bad civilians... If a gang is beating a man in the streets, bystanders can call the cops, or even step in themselves. But when cops are murdering a man, bystanders wouldn't dare step in to stop it themselves. When the system designed to promote justice becomes the ultimate tool of injustice, people have nowhere to turn.

So we need a new standard for judging police officers... Call it the "Kelly Thomas Standard"... From now on for someone to be counted as a "good cop", it's not enough to simply "not do bad". They must actively try to stop the bad cops (that's what you're fucking paying them for). Otherwise, they're just an enabler.

Unfortunately (at this point) it seems like the breakdown is: Around 10% of cops are bad, 80% stand by and do nothing, enabling and covering for bad cops, and 10% of cops are actually good (they're willing to stand up to the bad cops, even if it costs them their job.)

Triple D

Contributing Author

Leave it to a fucking cop to use retard-strength as an excuse for tasing, beating, and hog-tying a mentally handicapped kid.

Just over a year ago, Jesse Kersey of Dayton, Ohio was riding his bike on the wrong side of the street when some Barney Fife of a cop named Officer Hooper tried to stop him. Kersey had the same thought I do when I see a cop (“fuck tha police”) and rode his bike home. He realized his mental handicap might impede him from communicating effectively with Hooper, so Kersey claims he went home to get his mother to translate.

Hooper wasn’t having it, especially since the kid was disrespectfully yelling psychobabble at him (see: speech impediment). He chased the kid to his house, where Kersey dumped his bike and ran to the front door. Feeling like he had run out of options, Hooper and his buddy Officer Howard tasered Kersey twice in order to stop him from fleeing.

Although getting tasered is debilitating for most able-bodied folk, according to the officers, Kersey’s tard strength was so resilient that they had to whip out pepper-spray, nightsticks, and fists to subdue him before eventually hogtying the kid so they could drag him off to jail. Then they arrested the kid’s mom and his neighbor.

Hey, Dayton Police, how’s your life? If you’re really that bored you could shove a bunch of donuts inside of a KONG toy and spend some time figuring out how to get the chocolate cream-filled one out of there. It’s a hell of a lot more rewarding than beating up a fucking handicapped kid, which may seem satisfying as your straddling him and he’s foaming at the mouth in frustration, but at the end of the day you’ll just feel empty and nauseated. Like that time you masturbated to bestiality porn.

Anyway, you’re probably wondering why the fuck we’re talking about this now, when it happened over a year ago. Well, Kersey and co. sued the DPD after the police department’s internal investigation dismissed the officers of any wrongdoing. Even though all charges were dropped against Kersey after the court verified that he is, in fact, retarded, the police officers were found to have used proper judgment that day and were dismissed of all allegations.

If that’s considered “proper judgment” for a cop, then I’m worried about our general welfare. It would liken police to an armed militia of mentally handicapped people.

Aw, who am I kidding. We should be thanking the DPD. At least they got the right house.

These cops are heroes... it's about time someone taught those damn cripples a lesson, with their fancy private parking spaces and custom building entrances, who do they think they are?

Not bad... but not enough. If only we could beat the shit out of someone at the exact moment they became handicapped. Yeah, that'll show'em. The next time someone falls off a bridge, the first cops on the scene should taser the fuck out of the bastard 20 or so times:

Goddamnit, when the fuck did that shit become acceptable in America? This isn't about whether cops are good or bad. It's not that simple. Most people think: "Of course there are a few bad cops, there are a few bad apples in any bunch." but that's not the problem. The problem is cops lack finesse, and while that might be great for dealing with knife wielding crackheads, it leaves them totally unequipped to deal with normal people. So when the time comes to arrest an unarmed 70 year old grandmother, she gets the "Crackhead Takedown" just like everyone else. Now this might sound controversial, but it's never fucking okay for a grown man to taser an unarmed old lady, no matter how much she's been mouthing off.

This might be hard to believe, but cops (like everyone) aren't very eager to admit their mistakes. So when it comes to something like a police report, remember it was written by a human being after the fact, and that human being is probably not going to file a report that admits wrongdoing and fucks up their career. Don't look to a police report for objective truth:

So what does the Government do when faced with the problem of citizens video taping their ridiculous behavior? Do they reduce their excessive use of force?... Fuck no. They pass a law allowing them to "Crackhead Take-down" anyone with a camera. (Here's a helpful tip for cops that should save everyone a lot of time: If you twist someone's arm behind their back and dig your knee into their spine, yelling "stop resisting!" isn't going to make them relax their muscles any faster. They're not resisting, they're writhing in pain. Try yelling "Stop writhing!" next time. That'll do the trick.)

Every law involves the use of force. From now on, instead of saying "That should be illegal" say "Anyone who does that should have 3 grown men slam their face into the sidewalk, be shocked with electricity, be chained up, and be thrown in a cage where they'll probably be raped." Think about the laws with that frame of reference and you'll be amazed how quickly you become a Libertarian.