Good news everyone… You're definitely going to live forever (and not that "Live on forever in the memories of your loved ones" bullshit... the important way). You know those Goddamn internal organs of yours that keep threatening to "fail" every time you live life enjoyably?... Well those bitches can go fuck themselves. They're about to be totally replaceable:

This is fucking outstanding. There's no longer any justification for using government force to stop "unhealthy behavior". So… Disband the nanny state, right? Legalize all drugs immediately.  Abolish trans-fat bans and salt limits. From now on, the Government can completely focus on people who actually hurt other people, and never again say "It's for your own good." As of today... everyone can go back to minding their own fucking business.