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Mar 5th, 2010
  • Media Bullshitting
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Blade Looks Like Shit

Jesus Christ, prison was tough on Wesley Snipes... Come on New York TV that's fucking racist! What... do all black people look alike to you NY1? Racist! No one looks like Charlie Rangel:


You can tell it's Charlie Rangel because he has a Charlie Weis size F.U.P.A


That's an excuse to bring this up (even more racist... racist!):

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News?

Bikini-Clad Strippers Protest Church In Rural Ohio
Absolute Despotism is officially reversing our pro-stripper policy. Ladies... we await your protest.
Sex Video Identifies Suspects In Break-in
Note To Self: When fleeing the scene of a crime, do not forget your goddamn sex tape.
Airline Steward Tells Passengers to Fuck Themselves... Quits.

Whenever you get around to quitting your bullshit job, you'd better have the balls to do it like this...

Video: ‘Vanilla Ice’ Jumps Car Through Fire Into a Lake

Well... "jumps" might be too strong of a word.

Man hit by six meteorites is being 'targeted by aliens'

Aliens are still using rock-based weapons systems? If they've mastered the Space Trebuchet, we're fucked.

Parasailing Donkey Shocks Beachgoers

Best. Donkey Show. Ever.

Man Caught at Airport With Monkeys Under Shirt

Monkeys... plural.

Belarus police break up massive pillow fight in streets...

I know what you're thinking, and no... it was all dudes.

$20 Million on Road Signs?

For signs that say "Funded by The American Reinvestment and Recovery Act"!!!!! How many starving families could have been fed with $20,000,000? What a fucking joke!

Woman impaled by umbrella
If it's not oil it's umbrellas. Beaches are not safe and should be illegal.

Abuses and Usurpations

EPA considers banning lead bullets...
Remember Cass Sunstein? The government doesn't have to ban guns, they'll just make bullets prohibitively expensive.
The Government Can Now Use GPS to Track Your Moves (Without A Warrant)
Why? Because you have "no reasonable expectation that the government isn't tracking your movements." Really? Didn't it used to be crazy to think the government was tracking you? Now it's unreasonable to expect they aren't.
Obama seeking to give FBI power to seize an individual's Internet records without a warrant

Listen! Go to the Video Vault and watch Judge Andrew Napolitano’s speech, he breaks this shit down perfectly. From the Stamp Act and British solders writing their own search warrants; to the Patriot Act today.

SEC Says New Financial Reform Law Exempts It From Public Disclosure...

The Securities and Exchange Commission just told the Freedom of Information Act to go fuck itself...

Defense Dept. can't account for $8.7 billion...

Only the government could lose $8.7 billion out of $9.1 billion. They probably lost it all and just fucked up the math.

'In-N-Out' hometown bans new drive-through restaurants

America... bit by bit, we're turned from inventing to banning. From opportunity to bureaucracy. From endless solutions to endless problems.

PAPER: The Tax Tsunami On The Horizon...

Pelosi actually said "We're not raising taxes, we're just letting the Bush tax breaks expire." See, taxes aren't going up... they're going un-down. You won't be paying 5% more, you'll be paying -5% less.

House panel finds Rep. Charles Rangel broke ethics rules, will prepare for a trial

The chairman of the committee that writes tax laws claims he didn't know he had to pay taxes on his villa.

National Debt

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