Surprise, fucking surprise. Who could've guessed a co-founder of the Congressional Progressive Caucus was such a cock sucking douchebag? Rep. Pete Stark has spent 38 years in Congress. That's 38 fucking years of treating his employers like shit. (Video: A Minuteman tries to ask his "Representative" a question.) [Roll Tape]

"Our borders are quite secure." So... problem solved. But what about that pesky national debt? Well, a few years ago (back when mustaches were popular) Pete explained, "The larger the national debt, the wealthier we are." He later added, "You get the fuck out of here or I'll throw you out a window."

Remember those two guys from the New Black Panthers who tried to intimidate voters in 2008? Well... apparently one of them has some strong feelings regarding "crackers."

How the fuck is Barny Frank involved in running this country? I mean, we're letting this guy make actual, real-life laws.  For fucks sake... he looks like he just woke up on a park bench in front of the Capital, took off his newspaper "blanket" and stumbled in there. And then he says shit like  "The general fear that... we're going to over regulate on behalf of consumers is a fantasy unrelated to any human experience. The Federal Government has never done that." [Role Tape]

Well, today is our official launch and we planned to give you a kick ass post to enjoy... but that didn't quite work out. We instead decided to get drunk and blow shit up. Does anybody know of any better ways to celebrate Independence Day? We can't think of any.

So, until we return on Monday, enjoy these videos of fireworks factories exploding:

Hank Johnson bullshits with the eloquence you can only expect from a high school speech class... which is just the type of shallow pretext we need to eventually bring up the "Guam tipping over" incident. But first... he's trying to explain why Republicans don't want to limit political speech and campaign contributions (which means he does): [Play that shit]

Oh, Hank Johnson... you silly bitch. (He might be the worst shit-talker of all time.)
BP Contributions (2008):
Barack Obama (D) = $71,051
John McCain (R) = $36,649
Goldman Sacks Contributions (2008):
Barack Obama (D) = $1,001,195
John McCain (R) = $230,095
Now, here with some tips on island safety...

The Liberal County Supervisor of Milwaukee is shitty about the Arizona immigration law (Remember, she's talking about Arizona... the state... the one in America.) [Roll Tape]

Plato: "One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."  Sam Adams (Paraphrasing): "Run for fucking local office, asshole. Any city or county position. Pick one and run, or we're all fucked. Or do you have something better to do; something more important than America?" 

Goddamn environmentalists... these ignorant fucks have no idea how much suffering they've caused. Every law has unintended consequences, but do they stop and think about who their  "Green" policies hurt? Fuck no. Consider just one of the environmentalists' dictates that have gotten people killed: Automobile fuel efficiency standards (CAFE Standards.) Everything in life has tradeoffs. Guess what cars traded for government imposed efficiency: weight, size, reinforcement... AKA Safety. In a free market, each of us could decide for ourselves the safety vs. efficiency question, but environmentalists use government force to impose their choices on everyone. So, how many people have fuel efficiency standards killed? If we told you, you'd never belive it. So we'll let a respectable person break it down:

Dodge... don't think we're being fooled by your marketing ploys, we're onto you. That being said... your ploys are pretty fucking badass.

Wait one goddamn minute... isn't Dodge owned by the government... and about to be sold to Fiat (an Italian car company)? So a government owned, future European company is trying to sell "America and Freedom." Sorry bitches, you should've ran these ads a few years ago. Maybe then you wouldn't have to suck the government's dick to stay in business. (Hey Ford, how are you not running these ads? You turned down the government's money and you're old school American.)